Who Pays for What?

Wedding customs have evolved so much over the years and so have traditional etiquette rules dictating who is responsible for paying wedding costs. Years ago the bride and her family footed the majority of the bills associated with the wedding, and no one strayed from this established convention. Today, however, that dictatorship has all but vanished from the scene and more of a democratic system has taken hold. Rules are bending - and for good reasons. Today's weddings can cost astronomical amounts of money, which the bride's family may not have the resources to pay. And many couples choosing to get married later in life have incomes that enable them to pay for that "wedding of their dreams" themselves, instead of imposing on their parents. Dividing the wedding expenses is different for each family, depending on the circumstances.

Here are some traditional suggested guidelines for dividing expenses. The key word here is suggested. Brides and grooms who do not have the funds to pay for their own wedding should first sit down and discuss the wedding budget with their families to determine who can afford to pay for what. These guidelines can be massaged so that everyone involved in the wedding planning process is comfortable with their contribution. Find your own workable solution.

Expenses of the bride and her family

Engagement party
Wedding gown and trousseau
Wedding consultant
Wedding invitations, announcements, ceremony programs
Fee for ceremony site (church, temple)
Cost of reception, including food, beverages, tips
Musicians' fees
Photography, Videography
Flowers for ceremony and reception, bouquets for bridesmaids, flower girls
Transportation of wedding party to ceremony and reception sites
Expenses of the groom and his family
Bride's engagement and wedding rings
Marriage license
Clergyman's fee
Rehearsal dinner/party
Groom's wedding attire
Gifts for the best man, ushers
Bride's bouquet, boutonnieres for the groom, best man, ushers, fathers and grandfathers, corsages for mothers and grandmothers
Honeymoon

As you can see, within the traditional framework, the lion's share of expenses are born by the bride and her family! But by being creative in your thinking and juggling around these expenditures among all the key players in your wedding, you will discover alternative options to answer the question, "Who pays for what?" that make sense for everyone.

Who Pays for What?